First on Your To-Do List...

"For those of us with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADD/ADHD), a little worry can quickly escalate to full-blown anxiety. When stress levels rise, we procrastinate, which only exacerbates ADD/ADHD symptoms. We become more forgetful, disorganized, and distracted." (Reduce Anxiety Naturally: Six tips for treating anxiety without medication, ADDitude Magazine)

I'm learning not to let things build up to the point of feeling overwhelmed because my brain can easily go off line if I do.  Then I'm no good to anyone.  One thing that has helped me get a handle on life is having a to-do list.  Here are some tips (some of which I learned the hard way):

• Keep all your tasks in one location.  (You may be tempted to jot down notes on scraps of paper, but fight the urge.  I use a Franklin-Covey planner, for my personal tasks and Outlook at work.)
• Break large/complex projects into bite-sized tasks.
• Consult your list throughout the day (Just because you wrote it down at 9 am doesn't mean you'll remember at 3 pm.  Don't "set it and forget it".)
• Be conservative with estimating how much you can accomplish each day. (It's disheartening to have 20 things listed and only 5 checked off.)
• There's nothing more satisfying than checking off or crossing out an item on your list.  Be proud of your accomplishment!

For more information about using to-do lists effectively, check out Tackling To-Do Lists with ADHD: Combat adult ADHD by using this time-management system to turn your stagnant to-do list into a daily action plan (ADDitude Magazine).

Train Up a Child

"Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6 (NKJV)

We have a household filled with ADD tendencies, so it's no surprise that our house is usually less than immaculate.  That said, we've been making an effort to be more consistent about having our 6 year-old daughter take responsibility for certain age-appropriate chores. 

To encourage this, we've hung a chore chart in her room.  We tried using it many months ago, but when it was on my husband and I to be responsible, her task completion was seriously lacking.  Lately however, my husband upped the weekly goal, and she's been on top of things, exceeding that goal by competing against herself.

I'm not sure if it's a matter of her being more mature or us setting a challenging goal, but whatever the case, I'm certainly happy to see her becoming more responsible and independent.  Do you have any tips for how to get the whole family involved in keeping the house clean?  I'd love to hear them.  Please, leave a comment!

What Do You Want to Be When You Grow Up?

When I was in college, trying earnestly to plot out my future, I was shocked by the answer I received from my mother when I asked, "How did you know what you wanted to be when you grew up?"  She replied simply, "I still don't know."  I'd just assumed that my career-woman mom who seemed to have it all together must have had some master plan for achieving success.

Well, more than a decade later, I still couldn't tell you exactly what I want to be when I "grow up".  My resume definitely shows the marks of ADD (though I was undiagnosed until recently).  I've been a college professor, proposal writer, web designer, high school math teacher, and am currently a software engineer who is also an independent consultant for Thirty-One Gifts.  Whew, I'm tired just thinking about it!

Whether you're an ADDer or not, statistics show that you're much more likely to change careers today than did generations past.  So, if you're considering a switch because of the bad economy or you're just looking for a new challenge, a great website I came across called My Plan (myplan.com) can be a useful tool in exploring your options.  It offers detailed descriptions of different careers (including any required training and salary ranges) and also has the following career assessments:

• Career Values Assessment (Measures your underlying needs and motivations) - FREE
• Career Personality Test
• Career Interest Inventory
• Career Skills Profiler

Give it a shot.  It may help point you in the direction!

Let's Talk About Sex (and ADD)

When most people think about ADD, sex probably isn't the first thing that comes to mind.  However, the ADD can have a major impact on a sufferer's sexuality.

 

If you have inattentive type ADD like myself, sex is probably the last hing on your mind most of the time.  It's not that you aren't interested, but it's hard for your mind to focus and stay in the moment.  So maybe you don't get around to having sex because you're too distracted by clutter, overwhelmed by your to-do list, or drained by the inefficiencies in your day.  Or when you do have sex, you're thinking about your kids' schedules or mentally compiling your grocery list. Again, it's not due to a lack of interest in your partner.  Your brain just won't behave.  Also, some of us ADDers are hypersensitive to sensory stimulation meaning certain sounds or touching may actually feel extremely irritating.

For those with hyperactive or combined ADD, your sex life may be affected more by impulsivity.  When you're not enjoying sex, you may be in a rush to get it over with or may bluntly call things off (at the risk of hurting your partner's feelings).  Or perhaps you self-medicate with sex.  You may be frantically pursuing sexual encounters and arousal-inducing situations in order to relieve an inner tension.  If you're experiencing hyper-sexuality, you may find yourself engaging in sexual relationships that are not beneficial (such as affaris or promiscuity) or drawn to more and more edgy sexual practices.

For more information about sex and ADD (and how treating your ADD can improve your sex life), see Managing Your Sex Life With ADD and Sex Drive and ADD.

We're Just Different (Girls/Women & ADD)

When I tell people I have ADD, they often don't believe me.  "No.  But you did so well in school!  Plus, you've never been hyper."  Or if I admit that my daughter has symptoms they're quick to tell me, "Oh, don't believe that.  People just want to label her and force her on meds."  But if someone had high blood pressure, would we say seeking an accurate diagnosis and treatment was a matter of being labeled?  Of course not.

So, if you're having difficulty functioning at an optimal level, you owe it to yourself to find out why.  Since ADD is under diagnosed among women and girls, I thought it would be helpful to share some information on common symptoms. 

• Is your Daughter a Daydreamer, Tomboy or "Chatty Kathy"?
• ADD Symptoms in Women
• ADHD in Women
• How Might Hyperactivity Present Differently in Adults with ADHD v. Children?

Also, because we tend to cope with our symptoms differently, it's important to realize that there is a higher rate of depression, addiction, obesity, eating disorders, and anxiety disorders amongst ADD girls and women.  It's better to treat the ADD first before trying to address the symptoms.

• ADD/ADHD in Women — Special Issues