Let's Talk About Sex (and ADD)

When most people think about ADD, sex probably isn't the first thing that comes to mind.  However, the ADD can have a major impact on a sufferer's sexuality.

 

If you have inattentive type ADD like myself, sex is probably the last hing on your mind most of the time.  It's not that you aren't interested, but it's hard for your mind to focus and stay in the moment.  So maybe you don't get around to having sex because you're too distracted by clutter, overwhelmed by your to-do list, or drained by the inefficiencies in your day.  Or when you do have sex, you're thinking about your kids' schedules or mentally compiling your grocery list. Again, it's not due to a lack of interest in your partner.  Your brain just won't behave.  Also, some of us ADDers are hypersensitive to sensory stimulation meaning certain sounds or touching may actually feel extremely irritating.

For those with hyperactive or combined ADD, your sex life may be affected more by impulsivity.  When you're not enjoying sex, you may be in a rush to get it over with or may bluntly call things off (at the risk of hurting your partner's feelings).  Or perhaps you self-medicate with sex.  You may be frantically pursuing sexual encounters and arousal-inducing situations in order to relieve an inner tension.  If you're experiencing hyper-sexuality, you may find yourself engaging in sexual relationships that are not beneficial (such as affaris or promiscuity) or drawn to more and more edgy sexual practices.

For more information about sex and ADD (and how treating your ADD can improve your sex life), see Managing Your Sex Life With ADD and Sex Drive and ADD.

We're Just Different (Girls/Women & ADD)

When I tell people I have ADD, they often don't believe me.  "No.  But you did so well in school!  Plus, you've never been hyper."  Or if I admit that my daughter has symptoms they're quick to tell me, "Oh, don't believe that.  People just want to label her and force her on meds."  But if someone had high blood pressure, would we say seeking an accurate diagnosis and treatment was a matter of being labeled?  Of course not.

So, if you're having difficulty functioning at an optimal level, you owe it to yourself to find out why.  Since ADD is under diagnosed among women and girls, I thought it would be helpful to share some information on common symptoms. 

• Is your Daughter a Daydreamer, Tomboy or "Chatty Kathy"?
• ADD Symptoms in Women
• ADHD in Women
• How Might Hyperactivity Present Differently in Adults with ADHD v. Children?

Also, because we tend to cope with our symptoms differently, it's important to realize that there is a higher rate of depression, addiction, obesity, eating disorders, and anxiety disorders amongst ADD girls and women.  It's better to treat the ADD first before trying to address the symptoms.

• ADD/ADHD in Women — Special Issues